“The last hour of a person’s life is the most important hour of a person’s life”.
There was a nurse that worked at a hospital with patients who didn’t have much time to live. They had about 3 to 12 months left. She worked there for years and she would always ask them, “What do you regret the most?”. She would write down their answers in her notebook and as the years passed she realized that there was a pattern. She gathered from all of the regrets written these five that were the major ones that most of the patients expressed.
The first biggest regret that most of them said she said was, “That they wish they didn’t make decisions based on what people might think about them.” This one I think we all are guilty of. To try to impress other people whether it’s by status, clothes, money, title, education etc. Doing things in order to make people think of us a certain way. Or on the other hand making a decision like education, choosing a field of study based on what parents think. We try to earn a lot of money to buy things that can impress people when they look at us. We always think about what our family and friends would think if we made a certain decision. Wel,l now you know that this can be a moment of regret on your deathbed. Instead of regretting it later, try to change it now. In order to not have the same regrets most people had the last hour before they left this world.
The second regret was that they wished that they didn’t work a lot. The nurse said, “ We work hard trying to feed our family and give them the things they want, even though the thing they want more is us spending time with them than money.” We all try to work to earn a lot of money or to be of a certain title or status, even though status in the last hour of your life will mean nothing. It’s okay, you can work hard and create the life you want, however don’t forget that the essence of life is not work, but the happy moments you create with people and with yourself. How many times did you miss your father or mother when they were at work? We all live through it, but why make the same mistakes? Spend more time with your family, spouse, friends and create happy moments. For these will be the moments that will stay and not money. These moments will be the ones you will try to remember the last hours of your life.
The third one was that they wished that they could express their feelings and emotions more. She said they wished that they didn’t hide their feelings. Hide the love they had for someone. There was a patient who worked hard and was mistreated at work, instead of confronting the boss he built up emotions and tried to suppress them. He then exploded, not on the boss but he exploded by creating a disease to his body. He got sick because of these trapped emotions. Because of this anger, grief, unfairness, sadness, and disappointments that were not let out. Many of us will get sick or are sick because psychologically we suppressed many negative emotions that were meant to be let out. Many of us will lose people that love us because one can not express their emotions or feelings. Don’t think that people don’t need affirmations, because everyone does. A wife, mother, husband, child, siblings, father, they all need to hear “I love you”. A man who doesn’t say that enough to his wife will lose her because he is not capable of expressing his emotions. A child will hate a mother because he didn’t hear it enough from her, he will think she doesn’t love him. A friend will stop being friends with someone for the same reason. Not expressing emotions and feelings is a weakness, not vice versa. When one is not capable of doing that then one should try because then in the end…that will make him/her have no one around in the last hour of one’s life. No friends, no spouse,..maybe no family and maybe not.
The fourth one was that they wished that they kept in touch with their friends. The nurse said that as we get busy with life we forget the essence of life. “Friends and family.” We forget to check up on them, we don’t spend time with them. As we get busy with life we slowly lose people around us and then down the years we will realize we have no one called a friend around us. We were too busy for them so we ended our lives without them.
The fifth one was that they wished that they created more moments of company. The company of people, being together and creating memories together. That they spent more time with people instead of being at home alone. Coming straight from home to work and back. A person can never get enough of these
moments and these moments will decide if a person will leave with a smile on his face or a tear coming down.
The last moment before someone dies, he gets flashbacks of his life. He will try to remember these beautiful moments he spent with his loved ones. The beautiful things he did with the people he loved. As a person is leaving life he realizes how stupid he was with the problems he made to himself. He will not remember the number on his bank, he will remember the number of friends he had and the family around him. “We were created either to build or to destroy. Don’t be one of the people who destroys.” Create happy moments for yourself and don’t destroy your life with your own hands. We are responsible for the company we have around us. Based on who we are and the choices we make, we will either have friends, family, and a spouse or not. We´re we able to care, love, and let them know with our tongue everyday we love and care?
So today think of how you will want to feel the last hour or second of your life, and that if you died this moment will it be a smile or a tear. Lets try to take this as a lesson and remember these words of the patients. They left us a guide in order to not have regrets before we die. May they rest in peace.
I was able to write this blog because I watched a lecture by Wassem Youssef and heard the story from him. Most of the quotes are his words or words from his video.
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