When a pain is too strong to handle, the body tends to protect you by making you numb sometimes. It makes you not feel anything at all towards a topic or situation that is meant to make you feel pain. Your body knows you better than you know yourself. It listens to you, sees what you’re going through and it knows exactly how to help you. A lot of times when it numbs us, it gives us time to grasp the moment in order to be able to handle it. If we felt everything right away, as hard and painful as it is, then maybe we would’ve gone crazy or the pain would be too painful to handle.
In this journey of life we will go through very difficult challenges that will cause us pain and cause us to change. That is just what this life is, it’s a journey filled with challenges to shape and change us. How we change and get shaped will be based on our own strength, how strong our mind, body, and heart are. There will be times where the body will be smarter than the mind and it will protect you from certain damages. It will numb you or make you even sick to not think of the emotional pain you went through. Which in times can be good but can be a temporary solution.
For example if you’re going through a breakup and it’s been over a year or two. You’re crying everyday, drinking, smoking, partying, and doing whatever you can to not think about it. Whenever someone mentions the topic you avoid it. You get angry and try to distract yourself with something else. You try your best to avoid it during the day and sit at night thinking about it. If you’re someone who is going through a scenario like this. Where a specific thing happened and you’re doing your best to avoid it, then stop doing that. A person should not be stuck in a place for too long because then there will be more pain to fix. There will be more things to “unlearn”.
What I mean by “unlearn” is that while you were busy trying to numb your feelings with other things, you created habits that were unhealthy. These habits that were created as a temporary solution will need to be “unlearned”. You will need to teach yourself to get over pain without drugs, alcohol, weed, partying, or chilling with an awful group. You will need to learn that in order to handle pain, you will need to face the problem instead of running away from it. Either with patience or acceptance.
Don’t be stuck in a problem for too long, that’s a waste of time honestly. No matter how long you dwell in it, the problem won’t go away. Learn to accept things and move on. If your problem is because of another person, a friend or family for example, get over it. No one really deserves that you ruin yourself for them. People will always be hurting you, friends, family, spouse, colleagues, etc. People will always be causing you pain and if every time they do that you fall down a hole and get stuck then you won’t survive for long. Your mental health will be ruined, your body will be sick, no energy, no smile or maybe fake smile, all because a person decided to cause you pain. Don’t let people do that to you.
I lost many people in my life for choices I made for myself. For choices that I chose to be happy and there were people who I lost because they didn’t want to support my happiness. These people I’ve been going through hell because of them. I miss them everyday, I question why they are doing what they are doing, and I want them back in my life even though they don’t want me.
The past few months I was feeling better, I was getting used to moving on. Then after I started focusing on myself I heard that my parents separated. I thought that maybe I was the reason. I was the one who broke my family up. Many people actually blame me for it. But I didn’t. I was not the reason to break a bond between two adults who are my parents. Bonds with people are only between the two people, no one can influence it unless it was not a very strong bond. When parents decide to break up, it’s not because of the kids, it’s because of them as a team. There are couples who are a good team and there are ones that just don’t fit together, even if they stayed years together eventually it will break up if they weren’t a good team.
Learn to trust people, don’t be harsh enough to not even trust anyone but don’t be naive to trust completely in a person. People make mistakes, our loved ones make mistakes and that’s okay. However, don’t put your own problems and mistakes on the shoulders of others. Be honest with yourself and if there is a flaw with you then accept it and try to change it, don’t blame other people for it. Own up to your own mistakes.
So today we went over the fact that sometimes it’s good when you feel nothing, it’s your body’s way of protecting you and getting you slowly ready to handle it. We went over the fact that a person shouldn’t be stuck in a situation for too long for then he will need to “unlearn” things and that there will be more pain to fix. The second to last thing is to accept the fact that people will always hurt you, and that it can come even from the closest loved ones. The last thing is that no one can break a bond between two people unless the bond was itself not strong enough. There are a couple quotes that I love regarding the things we talked about.
“ I imagine one of the reasons people cling their hate so stubbornly is because they sense, once hate is gone, they will be forced to deal with pain.” James Baldwin.
“Some people hurt by words, some by actions, some by silence. But the biggest hurt is someone ignoring us when we value them a lot.” -unknown
“Whatever you do, don’t get stuck on the one thing that ruins your day. Smile and be grateful. Life is too short to waste on negativity.” -Also unknown
I think that’s enough quotes for the day, hope that you liked this long blog today haha. Thank you so much for reading Adyan´s Blog! Don’t forget to either like, follow, comment, or subscribe! Lets get through life together!