Marry by Love

Two years ago I met a girl, who was in her twenties. She left her country and family to get married to the man she loves. She was living in Canada but moved to Italy where her man lived. In the beginning she wasn’t so sure of the idea. A lot of people were against her marriage and there were many complications. The choice she had to make will disappoint many people, maybe even lose many people if she makes this decision. She went into circles wondering whether to choose a man or a future that was planned for her. In Canada she had her family and friends, she loved her country and didn’t want to leave it. She was planning to study and work for a couple years, then open up her own business. Before she fell in love, her conditions were that she wanted to marry someone that was living in her country, to work and raise her children there. Her whole life was planned out and she knew what she wanted. However she loved this man, she couldn’t see a future without him. She wanted him to be her partner forever, the father of her kids. To grow old and have a family with the man. So she chose to leave with this man and start her future with him. So she left to Italy and married him there. I asked her why give up your future for this? She said he will be my future. I asked, “ A man will be your future?” She said, “With this man I will build my future. I will raise a new generation with him. And before I make that step I will adapt and learn to the new environment I will be in.” It sounded much easier than it was. After she got married she learned way more than building a future and adapting to a country. She learned patience, humbleness, and courage. To get up no matter how many times you will be pulled down. To understand that there will be times where you will be rejected and that it will be hurtful. She realized that she had to start all over again, and that the things she had planned might all need to be changed, and that was very difficult for her. To find herself all over again. To build herself back up, in a new country where she was a nobody. That was the hardest lesson she had to learn. That is the most difficult thing she is going through. So I asked her why she is going through it, bearing up with all this when she can go back to Canada. She said that here in this country are the people she wants to spend her life with. The friends she made here, the family she has here, these people are now her future and the future of her kids. Canada is her country, she will always love it more than any other country. Her family will always be her family, just a flight away. I asked her “Do you miss them?”, she said “Of course, I will always miss them. They are always on my mind. But I can’t go see them now, now is not the time.” What I learned from this girl was that the biggest and most important decisions in your life, will show who is on your side. Who will put their ego aside and support you. She taught me that family can at one point be lost, but there is hope that they will come back again. Family usually always stays family. The same goes with friends, that in one day you can lose them, one simple mistake can make you lose them, but the difference is they don’t come back again. She taught me that there are evil people out there that just love making problems for no reason, they will spread rumors about you, talk badly about you to other people, make up lies disguised as truth, and they just will try their best to hurt you. Ignore these people because they aren’t worth your time. Let them play their games, they simply are just bored and have no life but to hate on others. Ignore them and live your life as you want. Then I asked her what advice would you give people that want to get married, her answer was, “Marry the one you love, and loves you back.” That is the most important thing in any marriage, not money, not looks,  just love. Love will decide how healthy and happy your marriage will be. Not only is it important for the couple, but it is also important for your kids, when parents are in love with each other, this makes a happier family. When parents arent in love with each other, the kids suffer the consequences. After everything she went through I asked her what keeps her going. She said what keeps her going is that she can still try to be a good person regardless of how harsh life is. She said that it’s hard to be nice with all the evil that was seen. Sometimes she doesn’t feel like smiling, or going out of her way for others, but that’s what keeps her going, to keep doing that no matter how hard it is. “No matter the evil seen or done to you, don’t be evil. Be kind.” That’s her motto. 

We all have seen so many awful things in this world, murders, criminals, cheaters, etc. We know of people who left us, who betrayed us, who hurt us, who caused us pain. These people give us the hardest, most painful lessons. But it’s also these people that make us stronger. To understand that there are bad people that will hurt us. However there are many good people out there, that love you, that love to help others. There are kind, passionate, beautiful people in this world and these people are who we should strive to be. No matter the awful things you see in the world, don’t let it get you down. Don’t become angry with the world because it will make you angry with yourself. It’s okay to be sad, mad, angry at the world once in a while, but don’t be for a long time. Because then you will be a sad, angry person.This world will always be filled with so many trials and hardships, that’s what it’s meant for. Don’t let these hardships and trials pull you down but instead use them to pull yourself back up. To be stronger, kinder, and better than before.  

Decisions like marriage, don’t ever let someone else make that decision for you. When you love someone and they love you back and marriage is something both of you want as much, then don’t let anyone mess that up. When you feel that is the right decision then go for it. Don’t let other people’s opinions affect your major decisions in life. Marriage is something that is only for you and your other half, it has nothing to do with anyone else. You can try to convince the people around you that this person is good and the one, but if they don’t agree with you, then that’s fine. They don’t have to agree with you. 

Make sure that when you want to marry someone it’s only out of love, not money or looks, but love. Also make sure that person loves you back deeply, don’t choose someone that doesn’t cherish you as much as you cherish them.

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