The Ingredients to Everlasting Relationship

In any relationship there are three things that count the most, “Love, Trust, and Respect”. For any relationship to be healthy and happy, these three things need to exist in it. You can’t love someone, and disrespect them. You can’t love someone without trusting them. However you can respect and not love, and trust without love. You can trust a lawyer, doctor, teacher, but not necessarily love them. However love cannot exist without these two things. These are the pillars of love that help it stand tall and strong. What I will focus more on in this post is “Respect”. Respect nowadays is losing its power and true meaning. Even though respect is the key to a happy, lasting, healthy relationship. So let’s get into why it’s so important

There are many people in the name of love who think it’s okay to disrespect you. They think it’s okay to step on you, because guess what, they love you!! Its okay to say mean, hurtful, and disrespectful things because they are in a relationship, in the name of love.  Honestly that’s all BS to me. Whether its family, friends, or romantic partner, disrespect should not be tolerated. No one is allowed to disrespect anyone no matter the authority. Also guess what, you definitely should not disrespect yourself even. If you disrespect yourself, then honestly…people will also disrespect you. Don’t ever do that to yourself. Respect, love, and trust yourself and don’t let others disrespect you. 

I´ve seen so many people that stayed in relationships where the other person was abusing either mentally or physically. They thought they were the problem, they didn’t sit down and think “Can the problem be the other person?” Why? Because they didnt love themselves enough. Really. When you don’t love yourself, you will allow other people to abuse you. Whether it’s words or physically, and then you will sit and think it’s all your fault. Don’t do that. Don’t be like that, because honestly, no one will save you other than yourself. If you make a choice to not tolerate something anymore, then everything will change. Change isn’t always easy, many don’t make different choices because they are afraid of change even when it’s the only thing needed that can make their life better. Don’t be afraid, don’t tolerate, and make a different choice. A choice that does not abuse you. 

My parents taught me respect to be honest. They taught me to respect them, and they taught me to respect others. I learned it from a young age and a couple years down I learned that disrespect is a weapon. I saw how disrespect can hurt people and drive them away from people. It made people arrogant, full of themselves thinking they can look down on people. It ruined marriages, friendships, and family relationships. Everyone has disrespected someone in their life but there is a difference with the people that learned to stop, and the people that kept going.  It’s these people that haven’t learned to stop disrespecting others that you should stay away from. Respect brings people closer, it puts people in a better light. When you respect yourself and others, you will be in a better light, and you will spread light to others. 

Before I got married, me and my husband made a deal, that we would never disrespect each other. Every couple gets into fights no matter how calm, nice, and patient you are. Eventually you will get into fights. It’s just normal, but make sure to even in the heated moments to never disrespect each other. My husband and I are so different! (I will write a post one day about us) We have views in the most different way possible, our arguments never went as far as being disrespectful and that is a line that both him and I will try to never cross. That is a line that in any relationship, should never be crossed. When you allow that line to be crossed over and over again, then you will lose yourself as well as respect for yourself. Not to mention, with time you will also lose respect for your partner. Things in the beginning can be easier to handle, for example disrespect is easier to handle in the beginning of a relationship, however as the years pass by it will be harder to bear up with it. When it gets harder, you then will lose love for each other. 

Many people say that with time and as you age you lose love for your spouse. That’s actually not true. Love will always be there, and each time it will be substituted for different words such as respect and trust. Couples that love each other until they are 100, its because till this day they respect and trust each other. That makes love last, and that is love. Each partner respected the other, which with time made the spouse respect her/himself. When you respect your partner and you respect yourself, that will make a relationship last forever. 

Why do I think respect is one of the key things to love? Because when you respect yourself, that is a form of love. When you love yourself, you respect yourself. You respect yourself enough to not talk badly about yourself, but with love. You don’t hang out with people that aren’t good for you because you respect your company. You know who is worth it and who isn’t   It’s as simple as that. So when you’re in a relationship with someone and you allow them to disrespect you, you don’t have enough respect for yourself, and the person disrespecting doesn’t love themselves either, so how will they learn to love others? Disrespect is not in any way a form of love. Let me make a small thing clear, I´m not saying that you should never tolerate it. Honestly  sometimes people make mistakes and are angry, and it’s more right to forgive them. However, don’t tolerate habits that never changed. That for years this disrespect consistently was there. Because that right there my friends is not love.

 I´ve heard this quote a thousand times, but it never hit me until one day my uncle reminded me before my wedding, “If a person doesn’t love themselves, how will other people love them?”. From that day I worked on trying to respect and love myself even with the scars that life has given me and the anxiety I have from this world. I tried my best to remind myself that I should be proud of myself, I made it this far. When I catch myself about to say something awful in the mirror, right away I change it to something kinder. I still am not perfect neither will I ever be, but I have to respect myself for who I am and what I have been through. So today, take two minutes to sit down with yourself. Remember everything you’ve been through and how far you’ve made it. Then smile. Smile even wider. Wider!! Then say, “I’m SOOOOO proud of myself.” Everything you’re proud of say it, remind your body and mind what you’ve been through. Respect yourself for it, and don’t allow anyone to step on you. So…..smile one more time and say “I´m proud of me.” Have a great day:)

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